Here are some key issues I will fight hard for:



This country is still at war. These guys and gals are coming home, blown to smithereens, worse than any war in the history of war. And it’s appalling how we treat them. They’re ours. They’re our young men and women forever, and we have to take care of them forever. They’ve given a sacrifice to this nation that should humble every one of us.

I say we legalize marijuana nationwide and tax it. And then I say we have a real war on drugs – this will not be your grandma’s war on drugs.

We have a serious problem with meth dealers and meth houses infecting this country. We’ll take some of that tax revenue from pot sales and offer American citizens $20,000 to find the meth houses and labs and just bust in and start blowing them away. We’ll give them an 8-minute warning to get the meth babies out. No reason to hurt the meth babies – not their fault.



Justin Trudeau, Canada’s new Prime Minister, wants to legalize weed across the country and it seems like it’s a real possibility. I can live with Canada beating us at hockey, but it’s unacceptable that they should be ahead of the United States when it comes sensible marijuana laws.

If Canada legalizes pot before the U.S., how many more billions of dollars will it cost us to police weed from crossing a 4,000 mile long border? The U.S. government couldn’t stop weed getting here from Panama — good luck trying to stop smugglers from simply stepping over one of the longest borders in the World.

Canada has always been like a little brother to the United States — and like any good older brother, we should be selling weed to them.

It’s ridiculous that pot is still illegal in many places where far more dangerous “recreational” behavior is permitted. People die hang gliding every week and that’s still totally okay. I’ve done some dumb shit while high but no one’s had to send a helicopter to help find my car in a parking garage. I’m not proud of staring out my window for two straight hours, but there’s no need to get the police involved.

We’ve got thousands of soldiers coming home every day suffering from all kinds of mental illness. Most of them don’t need or want prescriptions for powerful drugs with names they can’t even pronounce. The very least we can do for them is give them the option to smoke a legal joint if it helps them cope with daily life. I need pot just to deal with shit like the DMV and my own relatives.. So how about we not burden combat veterans with the added stress of potential jail time for hitting a bong?

If we legalize weed, of course there will be a lot of people who will choose to waste years of their lives getting baked and being useless losers. You know what the perfect punishment for that is? Being known as a useless loser. We need to bring good old-fashioned shame back into fashion.

Yes, more and more politicians seem to be in favor of changing the pot laws in this country. But they “seem” to be for a lot of things. The ugly truth is that none of them will actually do anything about it when they get the chance. Obama’s provable track record of loving the ganja made it seem like the heat was off, yet his Justice Department still raided legal weed shops in California. You think any of these other folks running for President are going to be as cool about it as I will? I plan to install a system where you can get your tax refund in marijuana. (Or pay it that way. I don’t want to run out.)

Thanks to states like Washington and Colorado, we now know that the legal weed bogeyman isn’t real. Crime is down, prescription painkiller deaths are way down, and Papa John is thriving. Their experiment worked. Time to stop experimenting and start dealing with the many real problems facing the United States. Let’s make sure this is the last year that Ron White is NOT running things.